Love Is Here for You + 10 Ways to Practice Self-Love
Happy Day of Love and Friendship!
When we think of love, it’s easy to picture the dreamy romantic gestures of a rom-com—big confessions, spontaneous kisses, a montage set to an indie love song.
But there’s much more to love than romance. In fact, in Mexico (where I live), Valentine’s Day is called “Day of Love and Friendship” (Dia de Amor y Amistad).
Love is found in friendships, community, and—most importantly—the way we show up for ourselves.
So I’m sharing my own experience about self-love and how it’s a foundation for love in all its forms.
My Own Little Rom-Com
But wait, didn’t you just say love ISN’T just about what we see in rom-coms?
Yea, I did, but why not be entertained first?
So let me just share where it’s all landed for me! I have manifested a partner, and that on its own was as miraculous as spinning lead into gold.
How it starteD. . .
I was so good at overcoming the struggles of singlehood (moving to new towns, new coasts and new countries by myself), I could have gotten awards. “And the best ‘Single and Doesn’t Need Anyone Award’ goes to…”
But when I least expected it…I manifested a partnership with my husband, Alejo! I first noticed him 5 years ago, the morning after an underwhelming Valentine’s Day!
I had a Valentine’s pizza dinner with a group of 10 single friends, which would have been fun except the pizza restaurant was so busy it ran out of pizzas! It took over an hour to wait to receive our order. So we were all waiting and starving and eventually the table was served two tiny personal-sized pizzas—which we had to split 10 ways—leaving still hungry (what a metaphor!).
The next morning we went to breakfast at a cafe, and that’s where I first spotted Alejo waiting tables. I mentioned to my friends that I thought he was cute. Fast forward—a week later we were on our first date!
The night of our first date, I went to take a shower and there was no running water. I had been surfing all day, felt so scuzzy and looked like a complete sweaty and sandy mess. I screamed to my landlord upstairs that I had to have water—I was going on my first real date in over a year! My landlord graciously brought me a barrel of water and I did my best to dunk all the parts of me in there one at a time to freshen up.
Our first date, we didn’t communicate too well—my so-so Mexican Spanish and his Argentinian accent as well as nerves and shyness. Now we are both fluent in each other’s language. But there was a lot of confusion both in language and our culture.
He picked me up around 8pm and I had thought we were going to eat dinner and was a bit annoyed he was so late. I later learned in his culture dinner is usually around 10pm or so!
How it’s going. . .
Alejo and I have been married happily for 2.5 years! What makes our relationship so fulfilling isn’t just the love we have for each other. It’s the foundation of self-love we both cultivated before coming together. We both came together at a time after our own journeys of self-discovery
Now I have everything I have asked for in a partner. We meditate together, share the same spirituality and values, love to travel, and help each other grow.
But back when I was single and frustrated, and I heard “You just need to love yourself more,” I was ready to smack someone. I would quip “Ugh! I love myself already!!!!”
Okay, So Love In All Its Forms
Whether you're looking for a big rom-com moment or not, let’s look at some of the other forms, outside of romance, where we can experience love.
Friendship: Love Beyond the Like Button
Love also lives in friendship, in the inside jokes you share, the deep talks over coffee, and the people who remind you who you are when you forget.
If you’re feeling disconnected, try something beyond just liking your friend’s social posts—set up a video call, write them a heartfelt note, or schedule time to actually catch up IRL.
Be fully present when you spend time with them. Reminisce about your best memories together. Make plans to do epic things!
I’ve been spending less time on social media lately and this has me reaching out to my friends the old fashioned way, texting and calls! It’s so much deeper to connect about real-life topics than just sharing a bunch of memes.
Love for Your Community & the Planet
Love doesn’t just extend to people—it includes the world around us. Right now, I’m living just a few footsteps from the beach next to a public access. Every morning, I walk to the ocean and sit on the beach to meditate. It’s one of the greatest gifts in my life to live in Sayulita, and I show my gratitude by picking up litter at the beach access when we have trash collection day. (I even got myself one of those little trash picker-upper thingys!)
This small act of karma yoga, or selfless service, is my way of giving love back to the Earth and my community. It takes minimal effort, but the impact ripples outward.
Love doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful. Offer love in your own way—maybe it’s a smile at a stranger, a kind word, or a small act of care for the world around you.
And Now for Loving Yourself
Loving yourself really is the greatest love of all (random fact: one of my first concerts was Whitney Houston with my dad!).
Self-love means forgiving yourself, being kind and dropping the self-judgment. It means spending time with yourself and appreciating life as it is, without needing anyone or anything to validate you.
When you truly embrace self-love, everything else—friendships, community, romance—flows more easily.
Here Are 10 Ways to Practice Self-Love
Speak to Yourself with Kindness – Replace self-criticism with words of encouragement, just as you would for a close friend.
Prioritize Your Well-being – Nourish your body with good food, movement, rest and enough sleep.
Set Healthy Boundaries – Protect your energy by saying no to what drains you and yes to what supports your growth.
Practice Daily Gratitude – Acknowledge the good in yourself and your life, even if it’s a couple minutes before you get up in the morning or fall asleep at night.
Do Things That Bring You Joy – Prioritize activities that light you up—dance, music, art, cooking, reading, baking, walking in nature, cuddling with animals, travel (let’s go!).
Spend Quality Time Alone – Learn to enjoy your own company, whether through solo dates, solo travel, mindful walks or quiet reflection.
Release Perfectionism – Embrace anything you perceive as imperfections as part of your unique journey. What if you could just enjoy life without worrying about always getting it right?
Celebrate Your Wins – Acknowledge your progress and accomplishments, even the small ones. Keep a journal to note the small ways you are offering love to yourself each day.
Forgive Yourself – Release guilt and self-judgment from past mistakes. Life is too short to dwell on them. Growth comes from learning, not self-punishment.
Surround Yourself with Love – Prioritize your time cultivating relationships that uplift and support you. We grow and change and our friendships need to reflect and support this growth. Evaluate your friendships and step away from relationships that no longer align.
So if you made it this far, I really hope you connect with love in one of its many forms this Valentine’s or “Day of Love and Friendship.” Connecting with love always leads you to beautiful outcomes.
Love is like a compass, move in the direction of love and you will know you are on the right path.
Two ways to practice self-love with me:
Meditations ~ Check out over 100 of my meditations on Aura and you can meditate with me daily from anywhere using your phone. I have many tracks on self-love. Meditate with me FREE on Aura.
Book a 1:1 Session with me for life coaching, meditation or healing sessions.
